American Diabetes Association: Fighting For My Life

Fighting For My Life
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
By: Martha Cattell

Fighting For My Life

I thought that I was better off dead than to go on with so much pain in my body and pain in my soul. The love and support of my family and friends carried me through.

I was 10 when I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I have had it now for 17 rough years. I was diagnosed with manic depression at age 14. Then at age 17 I was diagnosed with Necrobiosis Lipoidica Diabeticorum. A serious and rare skin disorder that breaks down the layers of your skin resulting in open wounds and possible amputation of my lower limbs. Then year after year something else would go wrong. I developed neuropathy (nerve damage) and autonomic neuropathy (organ nerve damage) that required a regimen of painkillers. I developed retinopathy(damage to the retina in the eyes) that required numerous painful laser surgeries. I developed kidney damage, hypertension, and high cholesterol. I was put on multiple prescriptions totaling 19 pills a day that made me feel sick. I had to terminate my pregnancy as the doctors informed me that it would kill me and my child to follow through with it. Then a tubal ligation, I will never be able to have children. All the while, going in and out of the hospital in ketoacidosis from something as little as a cold. Trying to keep a job between dr visits, hospitalizations, pain, the moodiness of a low bloodsugars, and moments of bursting into tears. I remember doctors telling me when I was young that this was a disease that you can live with. Doesn't seem very "livable" to someone like me. I came to a point where I was ready to give up. It just didn't seem like there was any hope left. My family and friends stepped in as they saw me and my body shutting down and they carried me through. They were there for me through everything. Came with me to appointments, surgeries, and called and emailed me all the time. Constantly offering their love and support. Staying with me and taking care of me on "shifts" when I couldn't do it myself. I am now on disability and my health has finally started to stabilize. It's a shame that so many people think that Diabetes isn't that bad of a disease. That it's a "livable" disease. Ask MY family and friends if it seems "livable". Ask me. It's a war everyday to keep fighting. A special thanks to my loving husband, mother, father, sisters, brothers, and friends for fighting this war with me. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you. Love and Blessings, Martha